He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
