I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
