Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I love you. Go after that dick
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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