she was so not down for the gang bang
Where did you get a picture of my penis
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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