Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
