i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
