they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
