She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
