Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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