So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
