we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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