apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize