she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
