you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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