quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
