I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
