I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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