I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
