I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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