I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
