check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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