He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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