me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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