girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
