I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We are all done wearing pants today
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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