I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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