I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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