He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
