Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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