I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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