bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
