dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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