PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
