i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
