The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
