Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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