Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
