If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i wish my penis had a tongue
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
