i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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