One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
