The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
