So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
