their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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