Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
