So drunk its hurt
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize