can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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