She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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