Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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