Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
40s are totally the cure
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
