Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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