We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
