is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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