Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
