ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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