My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
