i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
