shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
