Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
