do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
