It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
