I am spending my child support on dildos
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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