fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Randomize
