kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize