Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
