My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
