Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
