I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
