i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
