Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
